(I posted this in DIA as well)
Last night I had an emotional night. DH was on 24 hour duty at work, and the boys where in rare form. I called DH and talked to him about how I was feeling. I really think I need a break, either all to myself, or with DH, prior to when Ava arrives. I would really like to "retreat" by myself (not trying to be selfish or anything), but am reluctant to leave the boys over night with DH. This is sad, but he hasnt ever been over night with the boys by himself. I feel like if I leave, I will have twice as much work when I get back home. DH helps alot at home, when I am here, dont get me wrong. But, to take on all of my resposibilites and duties for a weekend, I dont know if he could handle it.
With DS#1 being 7 and DS#2 being almost 2, they are a handful. They are at totally different developmental spectrums, that often conflict. Micah (the 2 year old) is being 2, if that makes sense. And Elijah, 7, is testing his boundaries, trying to figure out how life/rules work, and self-discover in his personality. With DH being gone all the time, he doesnt have the opportunity to figure out what works for him and the boys. I can sit here and read and write to you all while the boys play fine. But, when DH tries to do something like that, the house darn near burns down. I know that the boys have to lean the difference between us as well.
DH said he is willing to try to spend more alone time with the boys, to work up to a wknd. Which I am all for. Will that happen before Ava is born?? Dont know.
Sooooo....after feeling like this, then I got to how in Gods name am I going to be able to do this with a third child. I really started to panic almost. I am reluctant to BF because of the time and energy it takes to do so. I had great BFing experiences with both boys, but it was work. I am afraid that it will be to much to handle. I know the medical/nutritional benifits for both of us, but it sounds so great to just have to make a bottle, and possibly sleep longer stretches (if she is formula fed). I produce a lot of milk, so I have to pump with every nursing for awhile, or I become really engorged. So, a night time feeding turns into an hour for me. And if DH deploys in December, oh lord. My mom has already said I can come home, but nothing is like having your DH there with you.
I guess I just need some suggestions, encouragement, and some wise words from my trustly ladies. Thanks.
Last night I had an emotional night. DH was on 24 hour duty at work, and the boys where in rare form. I called DH and talked to him about how I was feeling. I really think I need a break, either all to myself, or with DH, prior to when Ava arrives. I would really like to "retreat" by myself (not trying to be selfish or anything), but am reluctant to leave the boys over night with DH. This is sad, but he hasnt ever been over night with the boys by himself. I feel like if I leave, I will have twice as much work when I get back home. DH helps alot at home, when I am here, dont get me wrong. But, to take on all of my resposibilites and duties for a weekend, I dont know if he could handle it.
With DS#1 being 7 and DS#2 being almost 2, they are a handful. They are at totally different developmental spectrums, that often conflict. Micah (the 2 year old) is being 2, if that makes sense. And Elijah, 7, is testing his boundaries, trying to figure out how life/rules work, and self-discover in his personality. With DH being gone all the time, he doesnt have the opportunity to figure out what works for him and the boys. I can sit here and read and write to you all while the boys play fine. But, when DH tries to do something like that, the house darn near burns down. I know that the boys have to lean the difference between us as well.
DH said he is willing to try to spend more alone time with the boys, to work up to a wknd. Which I am all for. Will that happen before Ava is born?? Dont know.
Sooooo....after feeling like this, then I got to how in Gods name am I going to be able to do this with a third child. I really started to panic almost. I am reluctant to BF because of the time and energy it takes to do so. I had great BFing experiences with both boys, but it was work. I am afraid that it will be to much to handle. I know the medical/nutritional benifits for both of us, but it sounds so great to just have to make a bottle, and possibly sleep longer stretches (if she is formula fed). I produce a lot of milk, so I have to pump with every nursing for awhile, or I become really engorged. So, a night time feeding turns into an hour for me. And if DH deploys in December, oh lord. My mom has already said I can come home, but nothing is like having your DH there with you.
I guess I just need some suggestions, encouragement, and some wise words from my trustly ladies. Thanks.
![[image]](http://users.htcomp.net/gshm/my%20babies.jpg)
