-A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
-My wife went into the hospital when she was pregnant with my son. All she would say is wouldn't , shouldn't , couldn't. I said doc, what's the matter. He said oh she is just having contractions.
-My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
-God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said,
"I've got nobody to talk to."
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
God said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every
decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will
always be the first to admit that she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion
whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like that cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history.....
